Evenfall
by scaenica
Summary: "You can't always save Nirn for its own sake. In the end, you've got to have something – or someone – worth fighting for. This is how you save the world for yourself, too." Isran/Serana oneshot.


_[A/N: Creative title is creative..._

_This is just a short story on what happens to Isran and Serana after the final battle at Castle Volkihar. Contains fluff, fluff, more fluff, angst and emotions. It's more of a quick little writing practice for me. Or maybe I listened to too much Adele lately. So… yeah. I wonder if this will be as weird for you as it was for me._

_Reviews are much appreciated. :3 ]_

* * *

**Evenfall**

Auriel's Bow strapped at her back, Ysabel ducked behind a stone balustrade to avoid the spell a vampire shot at her. She heard it sizzle over her head and puffing out when it hit the wall behind her. _Damn it. That was close. _Quickly, the young woman jumped to her feet and returned the favor with a bolt from her crossbow, only that her projectile didn't miss and instead pierced into her target's heart.

_Gotcha._ With a triumphant grin, the Dragonborn jumped down the stairs to the dinner hall of Castle Volkihar. She shot another bolt at a vampire rushing towards her but missed this time. The beast cast a spell at her, wielding an axe in the other one, his face twisted to a furious grimace. While she was busy dodging away from the blade, her opponent cast the Vampiric Drain at her and she winced when she felt the spell draining the life out of her. Luckily, concentrating on gathering enough Magicka, the vampire neglected his defense and she used the chance to draw her dagger and slam it into the blood sucker's throat. "Fuck you", she breathed disgustedly, gasping for air when the spell lifted as the vampire dropped dead onto the floor. _Damn them and their fucking spells. _

She turned around and quickly scanned the room. Serana had left her side, shooting the Vampire Drain spell from one hand and ice spikes from the other at her own kind, assisted by other vampires who, despite moving (in a somewhat choppy manner) seemed rather… well, _dead_. Even after all they had been through together, Ysabel still found it a little bit creepy to see the Daughter of Coldharbour raise the corpses of her own victims.

Along with Isran, Beleval and Durak, she had left a trail of dead vampires throughout the room. The elf and the orc vanished through side doors, just like the other Dawnguard warriors had already spread out through the castle to smoke out each and every monster from every corner of the castle.

"Watch out!", she heard Isran roar behind her and spinned around on her heel, dagger raised, to find that his warning hadn't been meant for her. The Redguard had shoved Serana to the side. A blow with his warhammer lifted the vampire that had tried to jump at her from his feet and threw it against a stone wall. It fell to the ground and stayed there, unmoving, in a small heap of limbs and robes.

Serana managed to roll herself over the floor until she came to a halt with one bent knee on the ground. Even taken by surprised like that, she looked so elegant in every movement, that Ysabel felt a sting of jealousy. (Herself, she would have probably just plunged down like a sack of potatoes.)

"Are you alright?" His hammer in one hand, Isran reached out the other one. The vampire took it and let him help her up. "Yes. Thank you."

"Are you sure you don't want to wait down at the shore? There is still time for you to turn around." The vexed look Serena shot him made Ysabel almost giggle.

"I'll be perfectly fine."

"I know you can handle yourself." The Dawnguard's leader eyed her in an unusually empathic way. "But it is still your father we will be facing. If you have any doubts at all, now is the time to go back. We can do this without you."

"We have already talked about that, Isran." His concerned tone seemed to have a calming effect on Serana. She straightened her clothes and casually examined the abrasive burn on her left hand, before she looked at Isran again. "I want to put an end to this - to_ him_ - as much as you do."

"He's still your father." There obviously wasn't much left of his initial loathing towards her. Instead, he actually seemed to _care_ about her. When in the name of Oblivion had _that _change of heart happened? What happened to calling her 'it' and 'a resource'?

"If you're worried about my salvation of my soul", the corners of Serana's mouth twitched, half amused and half sad, "Don't be. I don't think I have one anymore and if I did, my father's death would bring no harm to it."

"I'm more worried about a dagger in my back", Isran growled. Ysabel wondered if he knew that his face told a completely different story. "So don't make regret bringing you along."

"As I said, I won't-…"

_Swish. _

A bolt from Ysabel's crossbow flew over their heads and hit the chest of a vampire's thrall that had tried to sneak up behind the two. Both Isran and Serana twitched and when they turned around, the body already dropped dead to the floor.

"Are you lovebirds done yet?", she said loudly, shouldering the weapon. When Serana almost hissed at her, the Dragonborn had to suppress another snicker. _She really is a beast – just not in the literal sense. _Isran only grabbed the handle of his warhammer tighter.

"Let's get this over with."

* * *

All she remembered afterwards was a blast of fire exploding in her face, and Celann lifting her head and pouring a healing potion down her throat. In the end, only a small pink-colored scar remained and of those she had so many, one more wouldn't even stand out. They had defeated Harkon and that was all that mattered. Unfortunately, it also meant she had to leave her newly made friends behind. There was still that little triviality of the World Eater threatening to tear Nirn apart and she had been side-tracked long enough.

Already dressed in her traveling gear and her knapsack flicked over her shoulder, she walked up the stairs to the fort's roof. The sun was setting, bathing Dayspring Canyon a soft red light. Isran stood at the railing, watching over the valley through the battlements. While the others had taken off their gear and celebrated their victory with a few kegs of mead downstairs in the living area, he looked as stern as ever and still even wore his armor.

Ysabel coughed slightly as she stepped towards him and followed his gaze over the valley. "It's beautiful."

He turned his head and eyed her, his face emotionless as usual. By now she had learned that despite of this and the sinister tone of his voice he meant no actual unkindliness towards her. He simply saw no need in being overly polite. And once you've gotten used to it, it wasn't so bad. At least he was always upfront. She actually liked the old man and his attitude.

"You're leaving?"

"Yes. I want to be in Windhelm by morning. Now that Harkon's dead, I guess you don't need me here that badly anymore."

"True. You have done us a great service, and for that you have my thanks. You will always be welcome here."

"I guess I'll come back some day. Maybe just to annoy Durak." She smirked and leaned with her back against the balustrade, arms crossed in front of her chest, eyeing him closely. "So… will you be alright?"

He had turned away from her and was looking over the valley again. "There are still more of them out there, but we'll see to that in time. With the fort rebuilt, we are-"  
"Damn it, Isran", she interrupted him impatiently, "You know that's not what I meant."

He stiffed and for a moment she thought it might have been a bad idea to poke that matter. Then again, if she'd only followed good ideas, she wouldn't even be in Skyrim.

"Right now, nothing is as important as the strength of the Dawnguard. We are all that stands between _them_ and any living beings."

_Of course_ he knew exactly what she'd meant. And of course he made some damn excuses, the old bastard.

"Listen, I know what this means for you, I know how much responsibility you have to take on - let me _finish_.", she growled when he turned his face to her but her furious glare actually prevented him from interrupting. "I understand that but I also know you can't go on like this forever. You've already given most of your life for your cause. At some point you have to stop and ask yourself why you're doing all of this."

A muscle twitched on his jaw, and judging by the look on his face, he wanted to throw the Dragonborn right off the tower. "Yes, I have indeed spent all my life defending us against those monsters and I have survived this long because I do not let anything distract me from what is important. The slightest mistake, the slightest sign of _weakness_, can cost us everything and it's not only my own life that depends on the choices I make. I cannot allow myself some kind of _sentiment_, too much depends on the choices I make. But how would _you _understand that?"

"How would I- … The fate of _Nirn _kind of rests on my shoulders, you know, and not only the people I love will die if I fail, so… yeah, actually, I _do_ understand how it feels." _You fucking self-centered bastard._

Though he didn't answer, he winced slightly at the mention of Alduin, then relaxed a bit, being reminded of who stood there in front of him, not just some woman, not just some mercenary, but the Dovahkiin. She took it as a sign to continue.

"You know, it's not easy for her, either. She wants to stay and help but… always keeping control of herself, knowing that by giving in to those urges, she will hurt someone… she manages all of that pretty well. You've got to give her some credit for that. She really cares about you." She left the question unanswered whether she meant all members of the Dawnguard - or Isran alone.

The latter only scowled at her. "If you're talking about Serana: she can stay as long as she wants, but if she can't keep _it_ under control, she'll have to leave. And if she does attack someone, we won't hesitate to kill her. I'll do it myself if necessary."

This time, Ysabel shifted uneasily at his sinister tone. His words didn't surprise her and she knew he had a point but to her taste, he sounded a bit too determined. "Thanks for the heads-up", she muttered uncomfortably, "I'll pass it on to her."

The tension of his outburst slowly dissolved as they stood in silence for a while, Isran staring down into the canyon again, the Dragonborn, faced in the opposite direction, with her head tilted back, watching the stars appearing on the velvet blue sky above them.

"I'll tell you this much", she continued quietly after a while, "You can't always save Nirn for its own sake. In the end, you've got to have something – or someone – worth fighting for. This is how you save the world for yourself, too." His jaw tightened but apparently, his strategy now was to ignore her, because he said nothing and only continued steering sternly through the battlements into the falling night.

After another moment of silence, the young woman sighed heavily. There was no use in trying to convince him if he wasn't willing to understand. She could deal with vampires and dragons and what-not but this stubborn numbskull was obviously beyond help. And her time was getting short, if she wanted to make a quick stop in Riften (hopefully, Bryn wouldn't be on an assignment somewhere else) and then get to Windhelm by sunrise, so she couldn't delay her departure any longer. Ysabel pushed herself from the stone wall and strapped on her knapsack. "Goodbye, Isran." Vanishing through the door back into the castle, she left him behind in the dim light of evenfall.

* * *

He watched the night drawing its dark veil over Dayspring Canyon and the stars lightening up in the sky. They had won a great victory today, but he didn't feel like celebrating, too many thoughts weighed heavily on him. Today had been only the beginning, one battle may be won, but the war was far from over.

And those other thoughts…

He didn't like to let the Dragonborn go, the girl was a decent fighter and had more courage than most of his fellow warriors. But he wouldn't miss her for her inclination to put her nose into things that were none of her business. She might understand what the responsibility he carried meant, but she was still young and inexperienced. She still had to learn how much failure would actually cost, what the _guilt_ felt like. She had no idea of the price he had paid. He couldn't give in, he couldn't allow himself to become weak, when the slightest mistake could cost all of their lives.

The problem was that a part of his mind didn't care anymore.

At least not with Serana. Of all women, it had to be_ her_ who put him out of his stride, who threw him out of balance and caused him to let his guard down. Maybe it wasn't exactly his mind that cared so much about her, she was hauntingly beautiful and he was just a man after all.

But, no was more to it, no matter how painful it was to admit, no matter how much it hurt his pride. She was brave, persistent, and fearless in battle. They had hunted her kind down – if it hadn't been for the Dragonborn, he would have killed Serana in the very instance she arrived in Fort Dawnguard - and she still had done everything she could to help them destroy their enemy. Her own father. She had done what was right even though it had cost her her family. The earnest dignity on her face, the melodious sound of her voice… In her presence, every nerve, every inch of him was drawn towards her, no matter how hard he fought it.

_'You can't always save Nirn for its own sake.'_

_'She really cares about you.'_

The problem was that he believed every single word Ysabel had said.

_'We won't hesitate to kill her. I'll do it myself if necessary.'_

What a fool he was...

Suddenly tired to the bone, he rubbed his neck and decided he had been out here long enough. In the moment when he turned around to go back inside, the door to the castle's roof opened again. There was no doubt who it was, with her eyes in that pale face flashing in the darkness in the color of a roaring, all-consuming fire. He watched her silently as she approached him, in secret admiring her slender figure, her graceful movements, like a shadow in the night, where she was, after all, in her element.

It was the look on her face that brought him back to the moment, because it perfectly mirrored his own feelings: tense, tormented and utterly confused. Her gaze met his only for a moment before she lowered her eyes in an unusual uncertain way. She obviously was far from her normal, controlled and steady self, and that bewildered him even more.

Then realization kicked in.

"She talked to you, too, didn't she?"

* * *

It had taken her a great deal of self-persuasion and willpower to come up here. She didn't want to face him. She didn't want to explain what she felt, didn't know if she even had words for it. But the least Isran deserved was an explanation before she would do what had to be done. He had never been exactly _kind_ to her but she wouldn't forget that he had thanked her after her father's death and she knew how much it was against his very nature to let her help. He had spent his whole life fighting her kind - and still he had taken the risk of bringing her along. For all he had known, she could have used the earliest possible opportunity to thrust a dagger into his throat.

Of course, she could simply vanish from Fort Dawnguard and he probably wouldn't even miss her. But she owed him an explanation of her actions. And she owed it to herself, too. In the last weeks, she had formed attachments and no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise – she was beginning to _like_ the members of the Dawnguard. And Isran. She admired his determination, his talent for leadership. He captivated everyone listening to him, the man practically radiated authority. It was more than that, though. Something about him immediately let others to trust him and his judgment. He chose to trust _her_, too.

She had not forgotten the way he had treated her when they'd first met but they had overcome their differences and, in the end, fought side by side at Castle Volkihar. And he had saved her life.

"She talked to you, too, didn't she?"

Serana had no idea how he could know but it was certainly true. That woman's blunt, upfront attitude was refreshing and unsettling at the same time, and the latter even more when Ysabel voiced all those issues Serana would have rather avoided.

She had only come to her to say goodbye and asked her what Serana's plans for the future were. Initially, Serana had planned to get her mother out of the Soul Cairn and then stay with the Dawnguard to continue the fight against those of her kind who couldn't resist the thirst and killed innocent people.

But was she any different? There was not a single moment when she wasn't thirsty, it was a constant urge that she always had to suppress and it took so much strength not to give in… Sometimes the desire for blood was so strong, she couldn't be around living beings any longer, couldn't bare hearing their heartbeats, the blood rushing through their veins... And this night, when the others had offered her a place among them at the long table in the kitchen, when she listened to their stories and to Sorine playing a song on the lute, when she laughed at Gunmar's jokes and rewarded Agmaer's sheepish, but oh so sweet attempts to court her with a smile, when she noted that she missed Israns's silent but strangely_ intriguing_ presence – it was then she realized that she couldn't stay.

The Dragonborn had, of course, interjected but she didn't understand what situation Serana was in, how could she?

"Ysabel? She did, yes."

She couldn't bear Isran's gaze, not for long, those eyes that were a bit too bright for his dark face, piercing into hers, seeing right into whatever was left of her soul. "I only came to tell you, I'm leaving, too."

He did hide his surprise quite well and a mortal might have missed it, but due to her unnaturally sharp senses, Serana rather_ felt _than saw him tense.

"And where will you go?"

"I still need to tell my mother that my father is dead. And then… I don't think I'll stay in the castle." _Too many bad memories._ "I'm not yet sure where I'll go."

She didn't know how to interpret the suddenly rasping cadences in his deep voice. "If you think I will just let you wander around, you are mistaken."

Her shyness vanished into thin air as her temper rose, and she lifted her head to meet his gaze again. Who did he think he was, telling her what she could and couldn't do? "Oh, am I your prisoner now? Or am I your_ resource _again?" Teasing him was like throwing rocks to a stone wall, his stern, motionless expression didn't change even for a second. It made her even angrier that he obviously didn't care_ at all_, but she somehow managed to lay as much coldness as possible into her voice. "I am not asking your permission, Isran, I am simply telling you I will leave, whether you like it or not."

"Why?"

The simple question came so upfront and unexpected, she stared at him puzzled for almost a minute. "Why… am I leaving?"

"I remember you told me you wanted to stay. What changed your mind all of a sudden?"

This was exactly what she had wanted to avoid. It was none of his business and she could think of far more pleasant things than pouring out her heart to him. Then again, what had she expected, that he would just nod and wave her off? This was Isran, after all.

"I…" Still looking for words, she lowered her gaze to avoid his, again. "I am leaving because I am a danger to you, all of you. It's a risk having me around, one you don't want to take. And I can't risk anything happening to you, either."

"And you think wandering around out there will solve that? We can handle ourselves. Many people out there can't. You're a risk to them as well."

He sounded angry now and she was glad. Other than pity or affection, his anger was something she could deal with. "Do you take me for a fool? I didn't plan on traveling through cities. I will go somewhere isolated where I can't hurt anyone…" Her voice trailed off. Sooner or later, it _would_ happen. Not today and not tomorrow but she still had centuries ahead of her. There was no way she could control her thirst forever. Maybe she should simply attack someone and let the Dawnguard or some guards in a town bring her down. And be done with it.

Serana flinched when she felt his hand on her face, cupping her cheek, the rough pad of his thumb stroking over her skin.

What _in Oblivion_ was he _doing_?

"You're not alone, you know." His rasping voice was barely audible and combined with his touch, it sent a shiver down her spine. "Let us help you."

"There is nothing you can do." She pressed her lips together, fighting the urge of either throwing herself into his arms or running away. Luckily, she was too proud for any of that. "I asked the man you sent us to – Falion. He cured Ysabel but he told_ me_ – very politely – that there was nothing he could do for a Daughter of Coldharbour." She remembered the anxious, yet pitiful look on his face very clearly, as well as her own growing feeling of despair when she realized she had no clue how else she might get rid of her… condition. "It's not just a _disease_, it's… it defines me, my very being. There is no way I can just… drive it out."

Suddenly they stood closer together, she could see the old scars on his face, the fine lines age had left behind, and the glowing sparks in his eyes. His fingers still on her cheek, with skin rough and callous, but she would never have imagined his touch could be so light and soft… Maybe that was what prompted her to bear her heart to him yet again.

"I don't want to hurt you, any of you. If I stay… if I lose control, I could never forgive myself."

What Ysabel had told her, that the people here cared about her, like a family – that was exactly the problem. They cared and some day, they'd start to trust her and let their guard down and then, when she couldn't fight the thirst anymore, she would hurt them. And afterwards, she wouldn't be able to live with herself anymore.

"I told you, we can handle ourselves." He took her face between her palms, eyes piercing into hers again, the harsh and graves cadences that made the hair at the nape of the neck stand on end, and her skin prickled strangely under his fingers. What was happening to them? "Let me help you, Serana. There might be some kind of cure but even if there is none – you don't have to do this alone."

_'You don't have to do this alone.'_

No one had ever cared about her the way he did - her mother, maybe, but even Valerica had went over her head, locked her away and never bothered to tell her the truth. She didn't want him to care, it would be safer for him if things between them stayed exactly the way they had been. But for that it was already too late.

The rest of her resistance crumbled at this realization. "So I'm not a monster to you anymore?"

There was the hint of a bitter smile on his face. "Gods, who am I kidding?", he muttered, seemingly more to himself, then slightly shook his head. "You know I don't think that."

It was the sense of frustration over this bizarre situation that brought back her usual hard-nosed wit and sharp tone of voice, at least for a moment. "What do you _want_ from me, Isran?"

His answer was unexpected, to say the least.

He leaned forward and his lips found hers; surprise made her almost gasp before she instinctively clutched her fingers into the straps of his armor. At any other day, she might simply have thrown him off the castle's tower - tonight, however, after a moment of recovering from the shock, all she could do was cling on to him as if he was all that kept her from drowning. Locking her fingers in his neck to pull him closer and leaning against him as she pressed her lips against his and the kiss was so deep, it was as if he was stealing what was left of her soul.

She hardly managed to hold back a feral hiss when he shortly broke from her, and she heard his panting breath, his heart pounding in his chest and the blood rushing through his veins.

"I won't let you go."

His voice was hardly more than a husky whisper. She somehow managed to swiftly shake her head to tell him she wouldn't leave, before she determinedly pulling him down to her again, for he could not stop, not now, not when his kiss and his touch was all she craved for. She didn't just kiss him back_,_ she _devoured_ him, but this was a different kind of hunger, one that could be fulfilled without any sacrifices, one that she could give in to, lose herself in… And he made it easy for her, with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, pressing her slight form against him, and she –

"Hey, are you coming back d- Oh."

They broke apart abruptly like embarrassed and guilt-stricken adolescents, caught in the act, both turning around on their heels while hastily bringing some space between them. Ingjard stood in the door to the roof, grinning from ear to ear. "We were just wondering where you two have been."

It probably would be forgivable, Serana thought, if she'd rip the Nords' throat out right now… or just toss her off the tower.

"We'll be down in a second." She tried hard to hide the huskiness in her voice but judging by the smirk on Ingjard's face, she didn't do a very good job.

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Take your time." The woman actually had the nerve to_ wink_ at them before she vanished back through the door.

Serana took a deep breath to pull herself together. Beside her, Isran shifted uncomfortably. "So…", he grumbled, "maybe we_ should _go downstairs."

Their eyes met only for a moment before they awkwardly avoided each others' gaze again and yet she couldn't help but smile – weak, tired and almost helpless, but a smile nonetheless. "Maybe we should."

Isran cleared his throat. "You will tell me if it becomes… to difficult for you." It educed a short, dry laugh from her - he made the fact that she might snap and rip them all to pieces sound so innocent. "That's quite an understated phrasing, don't you think?"

He only scowled at her and it made her slightly hunch her shoulders, conscious of guilt. He didn't do this to or patronize her. He _cared_.

"All I want is for you to give me your word that you will swallow your pride and ask for help."

_Help._

_'You don't have to deal with this alone.'_

Her hand found his and he closed his fingers around hers. Her smile grew a bit more confident. "Fine, then. You have my word. Now, we should really downstairs before they start to talk..." This was probably going to be a really weird situation.

Isran gave a disapproving grunt, but followed her when she stared moving towards the door and matched his stride to her pace. "That bunch of fools can talk as much as they want."

"Sure." The corners of her mouth twitched. Suddenly everything felt easier and lighter. Nothing had changed, really, but still... At least, the feeling of being alone in this world was gone. The one thing she longed for the most, a family - maybe she _could_ have that again. The Dawnguard would make an unusual crowd for someone like her, that was for sure, and the peace was fragile and maybe only of a temporary nature. But it was something to build on. And if there really_ was_ a cure for her, she would not have to search for it alone. The thought of a warm room full of talk and laughter and company didn't sound too bad after all. At least for now, she could handle it.

And in addition to that, she wouldn't miss someone this time.


End file.
